Sex in the age of AI - Chapter 2

From Suppression to Simulation

Sex is awesome.

It is the energy that created us and continues to propagate all life around us. Our genitals are the direct expressions of this energy. And yet, deep in our hearts, most of us do not actually feel this truth. We are ashamed and judgmental of our bodies, especially those parts that are designed to recreate more humans.

The reasons for this are rooted in our history and culture, both Eastern and Western. Traditional societies have suppressed sexuality. More precisely, they have suppressed sexual joy. Sex for reproduction was acceptable, respected, and protected. But sex as joy - especially for women - was considered dirty, dangerous, and shameful.

The problem with reducing sex to a mere reproductive function is not only moral or ideological. It is existential. When sex is stripped of its joyful, living quality, it becomes mechanical. And thus, joy and happiness quietly disappear from sex altogether. This amazing, magical, natural phenomenon has been reduced to its basic function.

For women, sex often becomes duty - a task performed to please a husband. She endures bad sex so the next generation may be born and her man’s needs fulfilled. It is tragic. It is ugly.

Men, too, suffer from this reduction. Traditional masculinity rarely understands the connection between sex and joy. There may be release - an itch scratched, tension discharged. Sex happens, but something essential is missing. The heart remains closed.

Then, in the 1960s, a revolution arrived. The pill was invented, and sex was suddenly severed from its dramatic biological consequences. A whole generation rebelled against the rigid, unsexy conformity of their parents and grandparents. Sex became play. Freedom. Experimentation. Pleasure for its own sake.

For a while, it felt like the problem had been solved.

Alas, very soon, something began to crash this sexy party - something not yet fully understood: many began to realize that sex should indeed be celebrated, not suppressed. But celebration without depth, without true commitment and love, soon collapsed into something else. Disillusionment entered the scene. Many people discovered that this path did not lead to happiness, but to distraction.

Women began to feel used and objectified.Men began to feel empty and depressed.

Something clearly went wrong. 

One would hope at this point that after humanity had tried both extremes—with equally depressing results - a middle path of wisdom and balance would emerge.

A path in which sexuality is recognized as an essential part of our being.Not suppressed.Not indulged.But honored as a source of joy, connection, creativity, and deep spiritual fulfillment.

One might imagine elders, educators, and media helping to convey this understanding—guiding younger generations toward a sexuality that integrates body, heart, and awareness.

But this is not what happened.

Instead, we entered the age of sex simulation.

This age began with the widespread development of the internet, which moved pornography from seedy cinemas and dirty magazines into the private spaces of our homes - and eventually into every pocket, every smartphone, every moment of boredom or loneliness.

Now, with the rapid advancements of AI and robotics, simulated sex is becoming increasingly sophisticated. Backed by the most powerful marketing minds and vast datasets of human desire, these technologies are nearly irresistible. Pornhub’s recent statistics reveal that the percentage of women consuming pornography is rising rapidly.

Engaging sexually with a screen is safe. It is convenient. It is conflict-free.

A machine will never reject you. It will not misunderstand you, disappoint you, or break your heart. It is designed precisely to your preferences. And yet - by its very nature - it cannot make you happy.

Sexual happiness requires the engagement of the heart. It demands presence in the body and contact with its subtle, powerful energies. It requires friction, conflict, misunderstanding, vulnerability, and learning. It requires another human being.

This is not an argument against technology. It is an observation about human nature, unfolding within a technological context humanity has never faced before.

I did not write this as a complaining old man. The situation we are in is admittedly different from my preferences, and it will continue whether I like it or not. This article is written for those who, like me, are interested in how the human spirit can still thrive within the conditions we are given.

I am not interested in complaining. I am interested in realizing what is happening and responding. In looking inside and asking what role I choose to play. What message I bring to my readers, students, and clients in this cultural landscape.

At the end of the previous chapter, I promised to share some practical ways of reconnecting with the sacred nature of sexuality. This is where my own work lives. I am deeply interested in reconnecting sex and heart, in rediscovering happiness in the body—our very sexual body.

So here is some homework for you, dear reader.

Find a private place. Be alone. Turn your attention toward your own sexual energy. This is a meditation. Do not try to suppress anything. You may feel aroused - that’s more than OK -but please do not indulge. Simply observe.

Notice what arises. Shame. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Curiosity. Notice what your mind does. What images appear. What memories surface. Become interested in your inner landscape as it relates to sex.

Observe without judgment. Observe without indulgence.

Stay with it for at least twenty minutes.

It may feel uncomfortable. You may encounter parts of yourself you would rather avoid. But if you can be a little courageous and stay with this darkness of yours, I promise you this: this is the first step toward discovering how alive, powerful, and deeply beautiful and awesome your sexuality truly is.